Men: HER workout is not YOUR workout

Almost a year ago, I came home from work to find my wife glued to the television, salivating over what appeared to be a cheesy fitness infomercial.  Want to be in the best shape of your life?  Get rock hard abs, toned legs, and powerful arms.  Get RIPPED in 90 days.  The infomercial featured both men and women, perfectly shaped, performing a variety of gut-wrenching exercises.  "Let's do it," my wife, Hollie, said seriously.  Intrigued, I decided to take her up on the challenge.

We were going to get ripped--in 90 days.  

After receiving our set of workout DVDs, a nutrition guide that would give Jenny Craig a run for her money, and a separately ordered pull-up bar (which ultimately proved incompatible with our cinderblock walls and steel-framed doorways), we were ready to begin.

The workouts were incredibly intense--an hour to an hour-and-a-half of exercise, 6 days a week--and the nutrition program was very strict.  Each workout was directed by the stereotypical "fitness instructor dude," who bore an odd resemblance to Skeletor from the 1980s He-Man cartoons.  His motivation style was militant, always daring his minions to even try to outperform him on the pull-bar, dumbbell curls, and abdominal crunches.  I welcomed his gritty challenges (and, yes, even his fitness jokes that never seemed to hit the mark).

Hollie would just roll her eyes and follow along.

After the first week, we were already beginning to notice some positive changes in our bodies.  In fact, it was Hollie who saw the most tangible results; she had managed to trim several inches off of her waist and an inch or so off of her thighs.  My results were a little less tangible; I could detect an added strength to my core and back muscles, but felt that I looked basically the same in the mirror.  The small improvements, though, were encouraging, and with every day the diet seemed to feel more and more natural. 

Soon, however, things began to change.  After about the first month of our 90-day adventure, Hollie started losing interest in the workouts.  "They're too long," she would say, "and they're always the same."  She also expressed a growing concern; while she might have seen major changes in her body during the first week or two, she now thought her progress was going much too slowly to reach the desired goal.  I, on the other hand, had by this time lost three inches off my waist, and added very discernable definition to my muscles.  I would turn on each DVD with a scowl on my face, ready to prove our never-satisfied fitness instructor just how lean and mean I was.

About halfway through the second month, Hollie dropped out of get-ripped class.  Ultimately, she chose to enroll in an aerobics class offered locally.  She later added a running program to mix things up--something she follows religiously to this day.

I went on to finish the program, and while I never looked like anyone featured on the infomercial, I did feel much better about my body, and had more energy than I have ever had in my life.

In the end, both Hollie and I found workouts that suited us.  But what made her quit (what I thought was) such an effective workout regimen?  She told me that it was designed for men; that the types of exercises and the motivational style was geared toward the male psyche.  I argued that there were women on the DVDs, so it must certainly be for women as well.

What I have come to learn since then is that in most cases, men and women are wired completely differently when it comes to exercise.  Your workout, in many (if not, most) cases, is not HER workout.

Here are three things that I have come to learn about the workout gender gap.  I may be stereotyping a bit, so I will try to use words like generally and frequently, rather than always or never.

1. Men's and women's bodies respond differently to diet and exercise.  This is not a stereotype--it's biology.  Men and women can perform the same exercises and get different results.  Why?  Testosterone certainly plays a large part.  This predominantly male hormone is what triggers muscle growth, among other things.  This means that men will get stronger, faster.  They will also build bigger muscles, which burn fat faster.  If a man and a woman are doing the same workout side by side, this may lead the woman to become discouraged.

2. Women often have different fitness end-goals than men.  Men frequently try to look intimidating, with strong muscles and a wide frame.  Women, on the other hand, usually seek a sleeker frame, with toned, long muscles.  These very different bodies are attained through different workouts.  To achieve the "ideal man-frame," there should be a heavy focus on anaerobic lifting with heavy weights.  To get the "ideal woman-frame," the emphasis needs to be on cardio and lighter weights.

3. Most women prefer encouragement, rather than a challenge.  This is a note to any bachelors out there: except in rare cases, women don't want to be told how weak, out-of-shape, or soft they are.  When I attended my wife's aerobics class once with her, I realized this fact.  The workouts were every bit as intense, but the focus was on a communal achievement, rather than a "can-you-top-this" arrogance.  Women often want to connect, rather than compete with each other.  

In the end, it may be true that one of the best things a couple can do together is exercise.  A gym date is an ideal weekday activity for the married couple looking to stay in shape.  But men, if your wife finds your endless clanking of ridiculous amounts of weight and that purple-faced, eye-bulging face you make as you lift them a little bit of a turn-off, don't be offended.

Unless of course you plan on joining her for the belly dance class afterwards.

"Fitness Ain't Cheap"

I hate the "fitness ain't cheap" excuse.  Okay, okay, I realize that this isn't a household expression or anything, but really, the "it's-too-expensive-to-work-out" rationalization is  becoming for the 2000s what the "I'm-too-busy" excuse was for the 1990s.  It doesn't really hold up.  It seemed that during the 90s we could somehow convince people that we were too busy for anything.  Perhaps Al Gore's brilliant invention of the internet, or the Walkman CD player, or the final episode of Seinfeld had such a jarring effect on us that it truly was an understandable cop-out during that decade.

Not anymore.

You see, somewhere along the lines someone started conducting studies that showed that the average American watches 4 hours and 35 minutes of television a day.  

They also spend an average of 9.5 hours a week online at home.

Even if we used half of that time for working out, it would amount to nearly 3 hours of physical activity a day.  Now that's quite a nice workout.

So, the 'busy' excuse is toast.  We're all busy all the time and no one wants to hear about it.  However, the latest justification ostensibly holds more ground:  "I'm too poor to stay in shape," with the basic assumption being, "you have to be rich to get a proper workout."  

It makes sense, doesn't it?  After all, a decent multifunctional home gym machine from Wal-Mart--the discount king--will set you back at least 600 bucks.  And then there's the yoga mat: 30-50 bucks.  A set of dumbbells, ranging from 5-80 pounds: 300-400 bucks.  Good running shoes: 80 bucks.  A treadmill: 400-1000 bucks.  Workout clothes: 300 bucks. A swiss ball: 40 bucks.  Etc. Etc. Etc.

Et cetera.

You know what the truth is?  The fitness industry has us fooled into thinking two contradictory things: 

1. That all you need is this one tiny little contraption for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling) and you will receive the single tool that will guarantee you weight loss, sexy abs, a higher self-esteem, and that beach bod you've been dreaming of all of your life.

2. That in order to be physically fit, we have to have all of those pricey items listed above, and much, much more.  

In actuality, both of those deceptive and antithetical notions are one and the same--the idea that physical fitness has a price.  They calmly seduce us into thinking that by dishing out our hard-earned cash to buy their product, we will somehow stop watching television, stop surfing the net, stop all of our bad eating habits, and start setting aside time to move around.  

False.

You want to know what it takes to be physically fit?  It takes you and enough space to move around a bit without hurting yourself.  That's right.  All you need is enough space to do some pushups and aerobics, a wall or two, perhaps a bar for pull-ups if you're lucky, throw in some gravity and you have a recipe for cut abs, toned muscles, cardiovascular endurance, and enhanced flexibility.  (The self-esteem is still sold separately)

With just your body weight only, there is so much that you can do to keep yourself in shape.  You can go running, do aerobics, kickboxing, Tae-Bo, plyometrics, pushups, situps, crunches, pull-ups, dips, lower back exercises, flies, shoulder presses, squats, lunges, hip extensions, calf raises, jumping jacks, yoga, Pilates, stretches, dancing, hiking, etc., etc. etc.

Et cetera.

While it is true that the nice fitness equipment can be expensive, even the average poor college kid can cover the cost of nothing.  Now, I must mention that you can't get ANY body you want without equipment.  Body weight exercises are great for beginners looking to build some muscle, and are always good for anyone looking to increase muscular tone and endurance.  However, they aren't going to give you bulging biceps or gigantic pectorals.  For those, you WILL need some heavier resistance, such as dumbbells and barbells.  

Here are some suggestions of MINIMAL equipment that you can get for a decent price:

• A set of SOME dumbbells.  Okay, let's face it--every guy wants a nice rack of every dumbbell in 5-pound increments, but that isn't always feasible; you may not have the space in your place.  You may not have the funding.  So find out which weights you most need, and which weights you will most need in three months.  If you are currently doing shoulder presses and curls with 30-pounders, get yourself a pair of thirties, a pair of thirty-fives, and a pair of forties.  Eventually, you'll need more, but it's a great start, and hopefully you can save 30 bucks for your next set in a few months.  For lighter dumbbells, you can substitute household objects, such as a can of soup or a gallon jug.
• Find SOMETHING that could be used as a pull-up bar.  It may be a part of a jungle gym.  It may be a part of a basketball hoop.  Or a soccer goal.  Anything that can support your weight can be used.  There is a pretty sweet bar that I just got for a little under 50 bucks and it can be used for dips and situps as well.
• If you can get a bench and a barbell, do it.  Even a decent Olympic Standard barbell with weights up to 300 pounds isn't terribly expensive.  You can get the whole set for a couple hundred dollars.
• Forget the home gyms.  Those things are a ton of money, and they aren't as effective as free weights.  If you really like those fitness machines, a gym membership is the most cost-effective way to go.
• Get some good running shoes.
  

Other than that, you really don't need a lot to get the body you want.  Some free weights, some running shoes, and determination.

And, yes, the self-esteem is still sold separately.  (Seriously, go see a shrink)

P.S. I'm currently working on a fitness program for the website that can be done with just body-weight exercises.  I'll get that link on here when it's done.